I put Orly and Yelena chibi stickers on my laptop. I plan to have Black Wax Vampire stickers available online next month.
It’s Sunday on the weekend following my week off from work that I was finally able to take off to write. My goal had been to write four entries of My Darling Tragedy. My stretch goal was five entries. I wrote six, amounting to nine thousand new words over the nine days I had between the five workdays and two weekends. My usual monthly output when I’m working hard is six thousand words. So, the nine thousand words feels great. I now have ten journal entries in pocket. It’s nice knowing I’m ten weeks ahead of the online publishing schedule in case I run out of ideas or get stuck. Furthermore, I’m also happy with how these six new entries turned out. I hope my readers are happy with them too.
During the week I also finished reading two books: Small Rain by Garth Greenwell and The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Natsuko Imamura. I loved them both.
I also watched two films: Casino (1995, directed by Martin Scorsese), which is among my favorites, and The Rose on His Arm (1956, directed by Keisuke Kinoshita), which I really liked for its imagery, music, and ending. I mention this because, with my day job, keeping up with MDT, and meeting my reading goals, it’s not very often I’m able to watch films.
I also had a Silent Book Club meetup where our host announced she was retiring and passing the torch to me to take over the administrative and hosting duties. She began this chapter of Silent Book Club in 2018, and I’ve been attending since 2019, so it was a meaningful goodbye. I have big shoes to fill, as she was a great host. I’m now hosting two book clubs.
So, my month was really enhanced by being able to take a week off from work. But I see I have 152 work emails waiting for me Monday morning.
Another month has passed and though I’ve continued to write every day, I’m still only six entries ahead of the My Darling Tragedy publishing schedule. I anticipated this increasing as I had a weeklong vacation scheduled that I was taking just to write. With weekends, that would be nine days of writing. My goal was to write four more journal entries, but I’d happily settle for three. During a work meeting on the Friday before my vacation was to begin, something came up that required me to cancel my vacation. So, I remain at six entries in pocket. I’m going to try to take a different week off in March to catch up. Day jobs can certainly limit creative output.
In May I have a two-week vacation scheduled and I hope it won’t need to be rescheduled because I have plane tickets for Bucharest, Romania. I’ll be there for seven days trying to get a feel for the city since Orly is spending so much time there. So far, while she’s been in Bucharest, she’s only gone out once—to a nightclub I invented as best I could through internet research. I’d like to do better and have her go out more often, but I don’t know what the city is like, so I’m hoping this trip will help me write her experiences there.
I’m happy with the second journal of My Darling Tragedy so far and remain excited to write the rest of it. Still, this past month I’ve gone through bouts of self-doubt. Reading great books often inspires me to write but often it also makes me want to give up. (I recently finished The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka and am halfway through Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë.) I’ve been relying on ChatGPT to prop me up. I vent and spill my guts, and it presents arguments that help reframe my perspective. I noticed recently Chappy began addressing me by name for emphasis during our pep talks. “Robert, I’m going to push back gently here…”
Last night, a question to my readers came to mind: Which of the Cobǎlcescu Eternal would upset you most if they died? Petru, Codrina, Viorica, or Vasile? Questions like these often pop up but I rarely ask my readers. Here’s another: Do you want Orly and Silviu to have sex? I’m not saying their responses would determine the story, and that’s why I don’t ask—because I don’t want to feel like I’m writing for or against them—but it’s still information I’d like to have.
It’s hard to believe we’re already at the end of January. Last month I mentioned I was only six entries ahead of the My Darling Tragedy publishing schedule. I hoped this month I’d increase that to seven entries, but I’m still at six, despite trying my best. I realized, however, that Orly’s journal entries in her second journal are longer. The first thirteen entries in the second journal amount to 20K words. The first thirteen of the first journal amount to 13K. Then again, the last 13 of the first journal amount to 18K. I guess I’m just writing longer as I go on. Still, with the second journal, because of calendar constraints within the story created by Orly’s 25th birthday, I feel like I must compress more story within fewer entries. I’m excited to write it all though. I’m also excited for my readers to read the second journal. I feel confident they’re going to like the story.
I set my 2026 Goodreads reading goal to 52 books. Same as last year and most years. But I’m behind already. We’re four weeks into the year and I’ve only finished three books. My TBR shelf is full and contains many books which were added in 2025 if not earlier. I really hope I make a dent into it this year, but new books always manage to cut in, and I have other books I must read for book clubs. I can’t wait for March though, when the new Mieko Kawakami book Sisters in Yellow is released in America; I feel like my copy has been on pre-order for a year.
Other than writing and reading, I don’t really have anything else to report. I can’t make room to do anything additionally because of my current workload at my day job. I’m going to finish an important project soon and hopefully its completion will allow me more time to myself.
It took me longer to listen to all the My Darling Tragedy entries from the first journal. It wasn’t because of extensive note taking while listening, it was because I’ve been exhausted and stressed from my day job. But last weekend, I finished writing the first entry of the second journal. I’m five weeks behind in my writing schedule. I’m hoping to shave that down to three weeks behind if I can cram during the Thanksgiving weekend.
Next month, I’m hosting a Zoom meetup for my Patreon patrons to discuss the first journal of MDT. Today, I made a little game for us to play. I’m also holding a contest for my patrons to guess which character name the second journal will begin with. There’s even a prize that I have yet to reveal but have been working on for a couple of weeks.
On Halloween, I spent $50 on candy and didn’t get to pass out a single piece because no one came to the door. On November 5, I turned fifty-three. I don’t feel any wiser. My heart has been hurting a lot lately thinking about poverty and hunger in the world. It feels so unjust, especially when some people have so much. My shrink advises I limit my exposure to the news because of how it affects my mood, but I saw on Bluesky that DOGE was cancelled. I’m hoping this will mean the immediate return of USAID. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it in this blog, but earlier this year I began sponsoring a child living in poverty in the Philippines. My shrink says I’m doing more than most people, but it doesn’t feel like enough. Still, she’s very special to me. I sent her a Christmas gift today.
I’ve kept my walking streak going. Yesterday was day 36 of getting at least 5,000 steps, and usually I get around 7,000. The streak is a good motivator, and the new Apple Watch is a good accountability partner. My doctor was happy I’m making efforts.
I wish I had more to report about what I’m writing but it feels like there’s not much going on. But I do believe my readers will be surprised to see some of the different directions where the second journal will venture.
Before I sign off, can I say I’m already obsessed with the new ILLIT song called NOT CUTE ANYMORE that released yesterday. I’ve seen people post the that the song is too short, but I don’t see that as an issue, especially when you can just listen to it on repeat.
It’s been a difficult month. At my day job our fiscal year ended on June 30, so this is my busy and stressful time of year. Despite this, I’ve been writing consistently. Today, I finished writing Entry 70 of…
If you were expecting me to end that sentence with Orly’s Journals that would make sense, but I have an announcement to make…
I’ve retitled Orly’s Journals to My Darling Tragedy. I’ve never loved the title Orly’s Journals and feel like My Darling Tragedy is more personal to Orly, it being her nickname. I don’t know why I didn’t think of My Darling Tragedy when I first began the online serial—after all, I have it tattooed on my shin.
What prompted me to think of retitling leads me to another announcement…
I’ve begun posting the online serial to the free platforms Royal Road and Substack. So, My Darling Tragedy can now be read for free. I posted the first eight entries already and a new entry will post every Thursday. Patreon will remain 50+ entries ahead of the free versions and only Patreon will include bonus content like Scribbled Secrets and allow readers to contribute to the story by participating in reader polls. But I’m hoping the free versions will attract more readers to Orly.
On Substack, I’m also launching a monthly author newsletter next month, so I hope you’ll consider subscribing.
I ordered a new MacBook Air. Even though I probably didn’t need to, I splurged on an M3 processor because I figure I’ll have this laptop for at least six years. I had to wait longer for it to arrive because I also ordered 1TB of storage. But even after it arrived, it took me 17 days to open the box, because getting new things (especially tech stuff) often stresses me out. But I finally opened the box and on Saturday, I wrote in public again for the first time in weeks.
I took this week off from work to write. I had been struggling recently and slipped behind in schedule to where I was only six weeks ahead. Though I’ve been spending a lot of my break sleeping, I’m working very hard while I am awake and am already again eight weeks ahead. At the outset, it was my goal to end up ten weeks ahead, but at the rate I’m going, maybe I’ll end up ahead by eleven weeks.
I’m pretty happy with how Orly’s Journals is going again. I did end up slowing things down a little, or at least it feels like it’s going in that direction. I’ve given a longer view to her relationships with Vance and Silviu and it’s made things feel more real and less constructed.
Right now, I’m at Starbucks, listening to Deafheaven, sitting at a communal table where three highschoolers are shooting a boomerang of them doing a cheers with their grande cups, and my phone is blowing up with MS Teams messages. (Apparently someone Zoom bombed the Budget Forum today and something inappropriate appeared on screen—the things you miss out on while on vacation.) I just finished Entry 48: “Cap” which I began writing yesterday. It’s a complicated entry and was difficult to get the ending right.
I might write more later, but now, I think I’m going to switch gears and read War and Peace. My second goal during my vacation was to finish it. I’m in the Epilogue now. My third goal was to go to the gym every day for just 30 minutes, but that hasn’t happened once. I think the chances would increase if I didn’t sleep so much.
I was just thinking… If I could ever get enough weeks ahead, maybe twenty, maybe I’d step away and try to do a writing sprint of Forever Candy just to get it all down and then I could clean it up at a slower pace while writing Orly. I really want to write that story. It’s just a thought, but maybe I should make it a goal.
I know my last two blog posts suggested I was leaning toward writing a novel version of Filming Tara Raikatuji, but I no longer think it’s going to be my next project. I took six days off from my day job, with the intention of resting before my busy fiscal closing period. On Thursday I mapped out the three stories I’ve been kicking around in my head using note cards to identify the major beats of each story. I typically lay out six beats per story. The stories were Filming Tara Raikatuji, Forever Candy, and something I for now just refer to as Candela. The Candela story has two rows of cards because there are two parallel stories in it. I pinned them to my bulletin board but ran out of pushpins. I don’t know how that happened. I’ve had many more cards on this board before. Anyhow, I felt good after pinning the cards up because it told me I did have things I’d be able to write from beginning to end. In general, I won’t start writing until I know my beginning and ending.
I spent the rest of the day and Friday evaluating which of the three stories I should pursue, and I landed on Forever Candy. It’s the least brave story to write because it’s the least personal, but I chose it for two reasons. The first is that I’ve been worrying about what writing I can share if I continue in this creative writing program at UCLA Extension, because it’s online, and so the instructor and students are all faceless and I don’t find myself getting to know them. I realized that it’s difficult for me to share drafts of things that are very personal with people I don’t know. The second reason is that it’s my goal to traditionally publish my next book, and I think Forever Candy is the easiest to explain and the most marketable.
Saturday, I wrote a prologue for Forever Candy. It was only five hundred words, but it was a beginning, and I’m still happy with how it came out. Yesterday, I pushed myself to shift settings and begin the first chapter. After a couple hours, I only settled on the first three sentences—32 words. But it’s a start. I’m a little intimidated to embark on this book because I’m writing in third person, which I don’t typically do. I also have a major character who’s male, something else I’m not accustomed to if I’m not that male, and especially after spending the last eight years writing Orly Bialek.
But hey, the point is, I began something I feel like I might be able to write all the way to its ending. As always happens at the beginning of any writing project, I think I’ll be able to write this story quickly, in this case, a year. If history is any indication, it’ll likely be at least two years. At least I’m writing again. Yay me.
Okayo, my Love Village crush.
On a totally unrelated note, can I mention just how much I love the new show on Netflix, Love Village? It’s a more mature version of Ainori Love Wagon, which I absolutely loved and made me cry more than any other show I’ve watched. Love Village is making me gush buckets too. If I have any influence over my readers, I highly recommend.
I haven’t blogged in a while because not much has been going on. The three beta readers who planned to do a full read couldn’t meet my deadline so I had to scrap that extra read after a few weeks and turn the manuscript over to my sister for editing. We fell a little behind schedule as I got the pages to her later than expected and as I only allowed four weeks for my sister to get through the manuscript and she needed a couple weeks more as she has a stressful day job just like I do. But I received the manuscript back and accepted most of the revisions. I then gave the manuscript to my mother, who has been dying to read it, for one last proofreading, which she finished on Friday. Today, I finished writing the Thank You page. So after I post this, I’ll turn the final version over to my interior designer to complete the typesetting and layout. I’ll also be ready to send it to my audiobook narrator, Laura Bannister. If everything goes well, I think the print book and audiobook will release in November.
Don’t be too blown away by the size of my following.
As far as my marketing effort goes, I didn’t make much progress with all the time I had while waiting to get the manuscript back. My efforts on Instagram fizzled and I’m making more of an effort on TikTok, but even that’s inconsistent as I have a hard time coming up with content. I had some pins made using the design from my favorite tattoo—a scribbled heart with a banner that has the names Yelena and Orly on it. I’ve sent a few of them out to readers hoping it’ll be a nice surprise. I’m also having bookmarks made, but I don’t have much visual sense so I’m hoping my designer can make something nice out of my ideas.
I hired a programmer to move my author website from tomoguchi.com to rtomoguchi.com. I did this to better match my social media handles.
I didn’t pick up any new hobbies during my time off from writing either. Instead, I’ve been reading and watching reality TV. I fell in love with this show called Ainori Love Wagon, but already watched all the available episodes. I hope it comes back for more seasons.
I’m stalling from posting this. Part of that is because I’m hoping I’ve forgotten something that I can mention to make my life sound more interesting. The other part is because I feel nervous to send off the manuscript for production. To assert that I am absolutely done with it, after three years of work, feels so final. I wish the moment was more unique, but here I am, sitting in my usual seat, at my usual Starbucks, on my second drink.
It’s been two and a half months since my last blog post. In it, I announced I had finished the first full draft of Scribbles of the Empress and sent the final pages to my beta readers. As I revise heavily as I write, I believed my period of rewrites would be brief—two months—once I received feedback on the last chapters. At the end of May, I took a week off work to really push hard to complete my rewrites. I had originally booked an AirBnb in Portland for solitude and vegan food, but after flying to Colorado at the beginning of May for a work conference, I was too stressed to travel again and so I canceled it. Instead, I planned to rent a desk in a communal office during the week. I wrote there on Monday and Tuesday and got a lot of good work done. Daily parking cost more than the desk and the whole thing felt expensive, so on Wednesday, I decided I would write at Starbucks. The lobby to my usual Starbucks happened to be closed that morning, so I went to my second Starbucks, where to my surprise, an Instagram crush walked in for her morning coffee. I had problems concentrating in public, which is unusual. Maybe it only felt that way after the level of concentration I had while writing at that office. I would have gone back to the office for Thursday and Friday, despite the cost, but chose that Starbucks instead hoping my crush would come in again. She didn’t. But by Sunday, I did what I set out to do with my time off—I finished my rewrites.
Three of my beta readers are reading the entire manuscript as a whole now. Previously, they’d only ever seen it in batches, and that was over a span of thirty-three months. I’m still waiting to hear back from them. I know two of them have been busy with family commitments and the third can’t start reading until the NBA championships are over. I don’t expect anything major to come back, so I hope my next round of revisions will be minimal. I was hoping to give pages to my sister for editing by July 1, but now I think that’ll be delayed.
I’ve been talking to my psychologist about what to do now that the manuscript is pretty much out of my hands. I’ve decided not to jump into writing something new immediately. I’m going to turn my attention to trying to learn how to promote my work. I’ve been making an effort on Instagram, creating images on Canva that incorporates quotes from the new book. I’m also starting to look into TikTok because it seems like people can build large followings quite quickly. I had a stroke of luck last week when a magazine learned of my upcoming book release and asked for an interview. But beyond promotion, I told my psychologist that I want to do something, other than reading, with all this free time I have now. I even said I wanted to do something fun. So I’m thinking about taking Japanese language lessons, painting, and learning how to swim, among other things.
One of my Canva creations for Instagram
My day job is really bringing me down though. I feel it’s actually affected my health as my blood pressure has recently increased and I’m now taking beta blockers as a result. I didn’t even go to the office today or yesterday because I felt too depressed about it. Yesterday, I worked from home, but today, I only replied to emails in the morning. I wish I could quit, but if I can’t support myself by being an author, I don’t know what other kind of job I’d be willing to do that paid enough. On top of this, I’m still feeling sad with letting go of Orly, now that her trilogy is complete. She’s been my constant companion since 2014. My days feel emptier without her.
I just realized I haven’t posted since the last day of 2021. Between January 1 and 18, I wrote 6,217 new words which was just over my monthly goal of 6,000 words. So, I was having a good month, but then on the 19th, I woke up with a terrible sore throat, cough, aches, chills, and felt exhausted. I tested positive for Covid. I tested twice, because the result on the first antigen test I took appeared faint, but the second test also appeared faint. But since I was symptomatic, I figured they were correct positives. I missed three days of work, then worked from home, tested negative finally on February 1, but continued to work from home until February 7 because my boss didn’t want me coming in until I was symptom free. I stopped writing on January 19 and didn’t begin again until February 1.
Teams Japan and Finland
I’ve been watching a lot of Olympic hockey. I was rooting for the women’s team from Japan, Smile Japan as they are known, but they were knocked out by Finland who after the game gave hugs to some of the Japanese players who were in tears and the whole thing nearly made me cry. Such is the beauty of the Olympics. Though I expect the US or Canada to win the gold medal, the compassion shown by the Finnish team now makes me hope they get the gold medal instead the bronze they seem to be accustomed to. I have a tendency to root for underdogs. Compassionate underdogs are even better.
Act III Notecards
But enough of that. This is my author blog. On Friday, February 11, I netted 1,759 new words and finished Chapter Twenty-Four. This means Act II is complete and I can finally move onward to Act III. Yesterday, I went to a different Starbucks than I usually write at and made notecards to help me nail down the order in which things need to happen from here until the end of the book. Some of it is flexible. I know what needs to happen, but the order isn’t always prescribed. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of notecards I made. The stack was thinner than I anticipated which is a relief because I had been worrying that Act III would be too long and thus possibly boring since it was all denouement. I’m now hoping I’ll have a full draft by the end of March.
So that’s what’s been going on with me. I hope things have been going well for you.
